Where there's a will, there's murder
by GuyWhoLikesBooks
Summary: [AU] Eidetic memory, inductive reasoning, and a sarcastic sense of humor. All combinations for a great police consultant.
1. The Beginning

_**The Beginning**_

" _A story has no beginning or end: arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead."_

― _Graham Greene, The End of the Affair_

* * *

"No, no," Stoick said to his son "Why do you think I'm lying?"

"Cause you're the bad guy," Hiccup responded as though it were obvious "And bad guys always lie."

Stoick pinched his nose with his thumb and forefinger in exasperation, even though his son was seven he _had_ to learn. He needed to know what it takes to be a cop, even if he's smaller than the other boys.

So Stoick knelt down to Hiccup's level and looked him in the eyes.

"What's our motto?" Stoick asked.

"Innocent till proven guilty."

"Even perps are innocent," he told him "You can't dismiss everything a perp says as lies."

Hiccup was confused, Stoick could see it on his face. The way his eyes scrunched up as he tried to process what his father had just told him.

"So they're telling the truth?" young Hiccup asked.

"Not necessarily," Stoick told him "You have to look at everything, including what the perp says, as both the truth and a lie. You need to look at what it would mean if a certain element of the case is true, and if it is a lie. You need to look at the case objectively."

"Oh."

"Do you understand?"

"I think I do," Hiccup said slowly, coming to his realization that he nearly shouted with excitement "I need to imagine that they are telling the truth _and_ telling a lie!"

Stoick laughed "Yes, that's the essence of it."

Hiccup smiled when he heard his father's laugh, he doesn't do it often. His smile soon vanished as Hiccup realized something else.

"Isn't my imagination fake?"

"Well, you're not really going to use your imagination."

"But you said…"

"I said that you need to _look_ at what it would mean," Stoick told him sternly "Using deduction, not imagination and deduction isn't fake."

"What's deduction?" Hiccup asked the obvious question.

"You'll learn that when you're older," Stoick paused for a moment "Right now I want you to question everything, I need you to get into that frame of mind. Always look at everything from every point of view."

And so, Hiccup went to school as any normal seven year old would and question everything, he may not have been the most likeable student for the other children, but his Dad asked him to do this and he did it.

None of what his father would teach him later on would come to fruition till Hiccup is twenty one years old.

* * *

Autumn was beautiful time for Berk, the leaves on the trees would turn half a dozen colors and the weather would finally calm from its stormy summers. The air would stay cool and crisp allowing the people to stay up and watch the sun set. The major city area of Berk sat in the middle like a huge stone heart, beating with the sound of traffic and the bustling of people.

Hiccup hated every second he spent here.

When he had turned eighteen he left Berk with no intention of returning. This city held bad memories for him, from being shunned at school for being a little different to his Stoick having him learn the art of deduction didn't help with making friends.

Not that that hasn't come in handy from time to time. Along with his eidetic memory Hiccup had little trouble after high school.

He wasn't here for Stoick nor the memories this place brings. _It's only for the anniversary_ Hiccup thought _then I'm gone_.

His only real friend growing up was Gobber, which is funny since that's Stoick's friend and ex-partner. Any time Stoick brought a case home with him Gobber would come as well. In part to help and see Hiccup.

If there was one person he'd want to visit it'd be Gobber. He just didn't know where he was. The most likely place he could find information would be talking to Stoick and that prospect brought a sour taste to his mouth.

The second best place to find to info would be the precinct in which Stoick and Gobber had worked at.

When Hiccup arrived at the 44th precinct the first thought that passed through his mind was _new_. The 44 had always had this presence of cheap and cheesy that everything from the eighties had when compared to how the world was changing to a sleek modern look of the mid nighties.

Now though, the 44 had front doors with frosted glass, stainless steal outer beams and a sleek silver paint. Hiccup had no idea when it had the renovations but the 44 looked good.

The inside looked even better, he entered and barely had time to soak it all in before the lady at the front desk asked him his why he was here.

"I'm here wondering if somebody named Gobber is still working here?"

"The Captain?" she responded.

"No Gobber, he has one leg and one arm."

"That's _Captain_ Gobber now and may I ask whom you are?"

Hiccup didn't respond as he took in the news that _his_ Gobber was now the captain of the 44th precinct. He knew they hadn't talked in awhile but becoming captain should have at least warranted a call.

"Sir, hello?" he heard the lady say.

Hiccup snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her dumbly "Huh?"

"What's your name and why do you want to see the captain?"

"I'm an old family friend," I told her "I was in town and didn't know if he was still working here."

The lady picked up the phone that sat beside her and called somebody.

"Yes, hello sir…. I have a man here saying he's an 'old family friend' and wanted to 'speak' with you." she paused for a moment before asking for my name.

"Hiccup." I told her.

"No your real name."

"That is my real name." Hiccup said annoyed.

She shrugged and turned back to the phone.

"The guy calls himself 'Hiccup'." Another pause before she looked at me then back to the phone.

"I'll send him right up sir." she turned to me but I beat her to the punch.

"I guess I can go up and see him now?"

"Yeah."

I turned and walked a bit before I didn't realize where it was to go _up_.

"Um.." I turned back to the lady to ask.

"Up those stairs, third door to your right, his name's on the door."

I gave her my thanks and went up the stairs going past the two doors to find myself staring at an oak door with a plaque that read "Captain Gobber".

 _Wow,_ I thought _why the hell didn't he call?_ When Hiccup left he didn't leave all of Berk behind, only everybody and everything other than Gobber.

I knocked before I entered. "Come in!" he heard the muffle scottish accent of Gobber called out.

I walked in and saw Gobber where a suit and tie similar to the kind he wore when he was a detective only this one looked more expensive.

" 'iccup!" he cried cheerfully.

"Captain." I smiled back to him.

"Oh don't be tha way 'iccup."

"What?" I still had a cheeky smile on my face "I thought I'd get a call if something big happened."

"It only 'appened a couple o weeks ago, I knew you'd be comin for the anniversary so I thoug't I could tell ya in person."

"Tell me what?" I sarcastically asked.

"If there is one thing I don't miss about ya is your sense of 'umor." He muttered before saying. "I'm the Captain now."

"How did this even happen?" Hiccup asked.

"After being 'ere for 30 years with o'er 200 cases closed the only person who could have been as senior as me would have been your father had he not retired," Gobber told him "So when Harrison stepped down the commissioner asked me and I said 'yes'."

"I'm happy for you Gobber, after all the years you put in here there's no one better for the job."

"I don't know," Gobber looked down to his desk where a manila folder laid "You get wind o these cases and the nostalgia hits ya."

"What kind of cases?"

"Uh," Gobber looked back up to Hiccup "A car crash that happened this mornin, my lead dick says it was a suicide but I don't know 'iccup."

"Something doesn't sit well with you?" Hiccup asked

"My gut says it was murder but I'm the captain now, I can't just go digging around anymore."

"Want me to look at it?"

" 'iccup you need a license to even be able to get near any o our cases."

"I have my PI license." Hiccup told a surprised Gobber.

"So you did take criminal justice? Your Dad would be happy to hear."

"Can I take a look at it now?" Hiccup didn't mean to sound so curt but he didn't really want to talk about how Stoick would be happy for what degree he received in college.

"Yeah, here." Gobber handed the manila folder to Hiccup who preceded to open it up.

What he first saw was a picture of the crash itself, it had the driver side in the frame along with the victim's left arm and hand. Hiccup moved past the picture and saw a run down on the victim himself, a one Donald Vanderburg.

"This _the_ Donald Vanderburg?" Hiccup asked.

"Yup, co-founder of Vanderburg Supplies."

Hiccup skimmed through the rest of the bio for Vanderburg and saw something that peaked his interest.

"He's married?"

"Ya wouldn't have known would ya," Gobber said with a laugh "Always kept his private life just that."

Hiccup looked back to the picture before looking up at Gobber "Your right."

"About?" Gobber asked.

"This being a murder."

* * *

Gobber lead him to where the detective's desks were. A large opened room with people walking in and out. Hiccup spotted a group over by a desk in the corner.

"That's them," Gobber said to him before calling "Astrid come here!"

Hiccup look to see his old crush turn around and nearly give him a heart attack. She was still as beautiful as he remembered from high school, more so now that she looked so mature. Her golden braid, deep blue eyes and curves in all the right places always did funny things to his stomach. He used to blame her beauty for being the main cause for his stutter when having brief talks with her. How few of those there were.

Now Hiccup realized _she_ was the lead detective for this case.

"Yes cap?" she said when she had made her way over.

"Tell her 'iccup." Gobber bumped his shoulder.

"Uh…" he was suddenly lost for words when she turned her attention to him "The Vanderburg case is a homicide not uh, a suicide."

Astrid gave him a weird look then glanced to Gobber and then back to him. "What makes you think that?"

"The picture." Hiccup said dumbly, _calm down idiot_ he chastised himself.

"What about it?" she was still giving him that look.

Taking a breath to calm down "In it you can see his left hand with no ring."

It took a second for that to sink in for Astrid as she connected the dots, the weird look went away. "Shit."

Gobber laughed "That was what I said lass."

Astrid turned back to her group and called for them to come over here.

"Fish, you get the tox reports for the Vander case?" she asked the portly looking fellow whom Hiccup had a brief thought that there had been a guy called Fishlegs in his high school.

"No, we're running it through right now." he told her.

"What's this 'bout babe?" The other guy who looked a lot like his third cousin Snotlout.

She glared at him "Say babe again Snot and I break your nose."

So it was Snotlout, was everybody here somebody he knew?

"Astrid who's with the cap?" the final member of their group, a young women, asked.

"My name's Hiccup." I held out my hand for her to shake.

"Ruff." she said as she shook it.

"Cousin!" Snot cheered as he took Hiccup in bone crushing hug.

"Hey Snot." I choked out as his thick arms nearly made him pass out.

"He's the guy that pointed out no ring Vander's body." He heard Astrid say.

When Hiccup was let go of the hug he turned to see Fish's eyes get wide in realization and the women named Ruff have her's narrowed.

"That a big deal?" Snot asked

"If we can't find it at his house or at a cleaners then yeah." Fish informed him.

"It would mean someone took it before he drove off the edge of the cliff." I chipped in.

"Why would they do that though?" he questioned.

"They wanted to take the ring to sell after they killed him." Astrid said as she rubbed her face in exasperation.

"We would need to get the tox report to see exactly what he had in him before we can say it's a homicide." Fish said.

There was a moment of silence before the group turned to Hiccup. "Why did you get to look at the case?" Astrid asked.

"I took him on as a consultant," Gobber told her "He's independent."

That was something that they discussed right after Hiccup showed him the no show on Vander's ring. Hiccup didn't want to follow in Stoick's shoes, he didn't want to be a detective but he could never say no to his curiosity.

"Gobber showed me the case and I put to 2 and 2 together." I told her, this time with no stutter.

"I guess I should thank you then," she turned to Gobber "I'll start looking in on this angle sir."

She turned back and started to walk back to what Hiccup believed to be her desk before Gobber stopped her.

" 'iccup here will help ya, we didn't hire em for the one tip."

Astrid looked at Gobber before she looked at Hiccup with a disbelieving look in her eyes. It was intimidating and Hiccup looked away. It wasn't his idea to be paired up with her, his curiosity was just peaked enough to have him say something to Gobber.

Curiosity did kill the cat, Hiccup just hoped it didn't kill him.

* * *

Being in Astrid's car Hiccup wanted to laugh at how cliché a car it is. _I mean_ Hiccup thought _if want to play into the stereotypical detective you don't need to own a Crown Vic._

"Where we heading?" Hiccup asked having not heard a word from his companion since she was told that he was to tag along for the investigation.

"We're heading to Vander's home to see if the ring is _actually_ missing and if it is we start questioning his next of kin about the days leading up to his death." she said as though I would have already known this.

"Alright," he said as silence followed before he asked "I never knew you wanted a career in law enforcement."

"There's a lot you don't know." her short response came.

"I have an eidetic memory," he told her "I know a lot."

She laughed "Yeah sure you do buddy."

Hiccup signed, one of the main reason he didn't tell people about his memory was because they would never believe it. For some strange reason Hiccup wanted her to know about it, so he tried to prove it to her.

"Vander was born January 2 1967 to Darien Vanderburg and Linda Vanderburg, an only child," Hiccup started "Gobber has a medal in his actions in '89 with the take down of the Bayside killer whom was a psychopathic suicidal 22 year old man with a history of abuse from his mother leading to his killing of the women who lived by the Berk bay area," he paused for a moment "You also take your coffee without cream and 2 sugars."

In the corner of his eye he saw Astrid glance at him for a moment before turning her attention back to the road.

"Show off." he heard her mumble.

"I never got a chance to show it off before," he confess to her "Not many people know about it."

Another reason why he never told anybody was what Stoick taught him was when Stoick learned of his ability he told him to keep it a secret. Information is key in war, he said, never give the enemy too much of it and you'll be able to keep them off balanced. Even though he disliked the teachings he received from Stoick he understood the thought process behind some of it. He also read The Art of War by Sun Tzu.

Hiccup was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't relieve that they had pulled up to the Vander residence.

"Pretty nice place." Hiccup commented.

Pretty nice consisted of a two story mansion with marble columns in the front like the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. It's front lawn was big with perfect green grass and a single tree that shaded part of it. Frosted glass windows adored the second story of the colossal building providing the inhabitants with some semblance of privacy.

When they walked into the house itself Hiccup felt his eyes wander the beautifully clean foyer with a granite floor. A single table stood lone in the middle to which the butler stood at attention next to.

"It looks cold." Astrid commented.

"Hello, Madame Vanderburg will see you in the study," the butler said to them ignoring Astrid's comment "If you will follow me."

Hiccup and Astrid followed the butler down to the left wing which consisted of a long hallway with closed doors on their left and large spotless windows on their right. At the end of the hallway was an opened door that lead into a dark room with large shelves with books on them and large comfy looking leather couches sat in the middle. Mrs. Vanderburg was seated in one of them when they entered.

"Thank you Bueler, that shall be all for now." Mrs. Vanderburg told the butler who nodded and closed the door as he left.

Mrs. Vanderburg was in her late forties Hiccup recalled from the personal records on Donald Vanderburg. She didn't have the wrinkles that we're typically seen in older women but she did have the look of smart women. The same look Astrid had.

"Hello detectives," her smooth voice now addressed them "I was surprised to say the least when you wanted to come into my home to question me about the death of my late husband."

On impulse Hiccup replied "I'm not a cop."

Mrs. Vanderburg gave him a strange look before saying "Than what are you dear?"

"I'm a consultant for the police."

He saw Astrid glare at him from the corner of his eye. What could he say, his mouth was faster than his brain.

"We wanted to ask you if you knew your husband's where abouts last night?" Astrid continued on trying to ignore what he had said.

"He'd been upset for a couple of weeks now so it was no surprise when I found him out of bed pacing around with his head in his hands," Mrs. Vanderburg paused before her smooth voice cracked "He said he needed to go to the… the office, I'm sorry."

She turns away before they see tears welling in her eyes. Hiccup takes this moment to hand her tissues that were on the coffee table in front of the large leather couch.

"Here." he says as hands the tissues to her.

"Thank you dear," she sniffs as she dabs her eyes. "I'm sorry but can I ask why it is you're in my home asking such painful questions."

"We're trying to construct a timeline of events leading up to your husband's death." Astrid said in a somewhat cold voice, not exactly cold but almost trying to move past the crying. Hiccup at least was sympathetic to the loss of a loved one. Knowing you needed time to heal and that sometimes time couldn't even help suture the wounds it has given you.

He was one when his mother died, Hiccup remembers it as he does everything. With perfect clarity he remembers how lost his father seemed in the days after. Almost like the wind was taken out of his sails and he had no land in sight.

Hiccup shook his head to get these thoughts out. _Later_ he thought _I don't need to think about this till later._

"Well he came to bed at 10 like always, we fell asleep and when I woke up he was gone." she told them just before the butler came back into the room.

"I'm sorry milady but Mr. Crowler is on the line and wishes for you to speak to him."

"Oh, thank you," she looked back to Hiccup and Astrid "I'm sorry but I'll have to take this. You're welcome to wait so we can continue this discussion."

"Thank you but that should be enough." Hiccup said earning another glare from Astrid. He quickly made his way out of the room and back to the car before she shouted.

"What the _hell_ was that!"

"We got everything we needed." Hiccup tried to keep this calm.

"We barely got shit!"

"No, we got that she was lying," Astrid disbelieving glare told him to continue "When she dabbed her eye, it smudge her makeup."

"She didn't have any makeup on."

"That's the point of it," I told her "to make it seem like she has none on."

Realization is a better look for her "She didn't sleep last night."

"Yup," Hiccup popped the 'p' "She just lied to us that he ever came home."

* * *

 **Don't know when I'll be able to update this, but if you liked it feedback is greatly appreciated.**


	2. Truth and Consequence

**Truth and Consequence**

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."

― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

* * *

"What did he do this time?" Stoick asked. This was becoming a common saying more of late. None to do with Hiccup of course.

"He accused me of lying about my trip to the Bahamas in front of the class," the teacher said in outrage "he's been a troublemaker since the day he set foot into my room."

"And what do you want done?"

"I want you to teach him some respect as any decent father would!"

The usual calm demeanor that Stoick had always tried to give off faltered at the comment. He didn't like being insulted.

"I've taught my son to respect the truth and to always pursue it to whatever end it may bring him." Stoick told as he would tell a school child, insult for insult in his eye.

"Sadly for you and your son it is a lie," she said before continuing "I do not appreciate slander in my classroom."

"Then Hiccup will not return," Stoick told her as he stood up "come on Hiccup, we're going home."

Stoick was silent all the way to the car before he asks "How did you know she was lying?"

"Her tan line." Hiccup told him.

"There are many ways why she wouldn't have a tan and you know it, how did you know for sure?"

"The pictures in her presentation, the stars didn't matchup with the days in which she said she was there,"

Stoick turned and knelt down in front of Hiccup with a ghost of a smile on his face, "You have a very special gift Hiccup. You can do great things with it one day."

The smile vanished "But you need to stop abusing it for your own self satisfaction, people don't like it when you call them liars about the littlest things."

"She's having an affair." That got his attention.

"Elaborate."

"Her perfume, it's a mix of a women and men's cologne," Hiccup told him "The men's one isn't the one her husband uses."

"You know I don't accept insubstantial evidence." Stoick trusted Hiccup, but overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer. Everyone must have self-doubt.

"It lines up with why she would lie about the Bahamas!" Hiccup was outraged that his father wouldn't accept his statement as substantial.

"You're reaching and you know it, now stop this non-sense." Stoick got in the car and waited for his son to do the same.

Hiccup wanted to scream at him. Yell to him that he hated him, make it known that he was no father of his. It was at this moment Hiccup promised himself that when he turned 18 he would leave and never return.

 _Only 10 more years_ Hiccup thought.

For now, though, Hiccup got in the car and they drove on home.

* * *

The car, Hiccup was coming to relieve, is a great place to think. With Astrid driving Hiccup is able to ponder the reasons why Mrs. Vanderburg would lie about her husband never coming home last night. The first reason would be that she's the killer and she wanted to throw off suspicion by giving us misinformation for our timeline.

 _It just seems so bland though,_ Hiccup thought.

Something as big as murder like this is never as simple as it seems if the lengths at which someone had to go to do it are any indication. _They rigged the murder to look like a car crash and they almost got away with it._ People like that are never simple.

The simplicity lies in their motives, they're always the same.

Once he finds that then he'd have a better understanding of who did. As the police say, means, motive and opportunity.

"Where am I taking you?" Astrid's question cut through Hiccup's thoughts.

"There's this motel on fifth that you can take me to."

Hiccup saw in the corner of his eye the weird look she gave him, "You're staying in _that_ place?"

Hiccup shrugged and muttered something about it having free wi-fi.

"I'm not staying for awhile so it works, okay?" he said after Astrid continued to wait for an audible response to her question.

She nodded and they stayed in silence for the rest of the car ride. Eventually they reached the motel, it didn't have a stand out name. All that mattered to Hiccup was that it was cheap and it provided free wi-fi. The latter being of utmost importance if Hiccup was going to make any headway into this case.

Awkward goodbyes were given and then Astrid left. Hiccup figured that would more than likely be the last time he ever sees her again, a depressing thought considering how much of a crush he had on her.

Hiccup shook his head and forced himself to focus on the case at hand, Mrs. Vanderburg's motives for murder. A little broad but Hiccup has worked with less.

The foyer, if one could call a dirty coffee table with a worn down couch a foyer, was sparse.

"I have a room here here under the name Hiccup," he told the front lady. "Had my stuff dropped off here earlier today."

"Uhhh…. yea we have you here, we didn't get your last name?"

"I didn't give it." Hiccup didn't need any unwanted attention his last name can bring.

"Gotcha, your room is number 13. It's on the second floor facing out towards the street."

Hiccup thanked the lady and went to his room. The other thing great about motels is they don't expect a down payment or any credit card. It makes coming his appearance back in Berk less noticeable.

His room appeared to have a thin layer of dust on everything except his stuff and the bed. That made the bed his sanctuary for the time being. All that was left for him to do was to pull out his five year old laptop and get to work.

What's the first thing to look for when it comes to looking for probable motives? Put them in a list and figure out which ones match the personality of the person of interest. Research is a weapon that rarely receives the praise it deserves, Hiccup tried to give it as much praise as he could.

The first one, and the most likely of them all, is money. Could Donald Vanderburg in all his wealth be in some sort of financial trouble? Maybe The Mrs. wanted the life insurance. Again, they seemed a little boring but they're effective.

Hiccup powered on old faithful, cracked his knuckles and got to work.

* * *

"How do you even know the guy?" Astros asked the question she was dying to know before adding "Sir."

"Me and his ol' man go way back."

"How back is that?" Again Astrid added the Sir a few moments after asking her question.

"He went to your high school Astrid." Gobber was getting real tired of having to explain why Hiccup is trustworthy. Gobber was the only person outside of Hiccup's father to know what the boy can do, and right now Berk needed him.

"I've repressed most of high school, too many jackasses for me to keep track of so excuse me if I couldn't remember this one." Astrid gave her answer in the best way she knew. Bluntness.

"This is one jackass you're gonna have to learn to get along with," Gobber looked down at his watch "Go pick him up and see if he came up with anything."

Astrid laughed "It's been one night Captain."

"Will you stop questioning me lass? Go. Get. Him."

That got Astrid to shut up and stop complaining, at least externally. Internally she was fuming. Go pick him up? What was she, his chauffeur? If anyone but her Captain had told her to pick up some jackass from some crappy motel she'd of broke their goddam nose. Sadly this was her Captain and she couldn't just headbutt him.

Astrid gave Gobber a glare but told him she'd pick Hiccup up and bring him back to the precinct. Luckily she remembered the way to the motel.

It was as shitty as she remembered it, the T and L were out in the sign leaving it only saying _Mo e_. The front lounge area wasn't any better, the sofa was riddled in cigarette burns and the air stunk of spilled beers.

Breathing through her mouth she moved to the front desk to ask the lady what room Hiccup was in.

"Why should I tell you?" the women gave her a questioning glare.

" 'Cause of this." Astrid showed her her badge.

"Room 13, second floor facing out towards the street," she then added quickly "Whatever he did is his own business."

Astrid didn't respond to that and moved as quickly as possible to get the hell out of this front lobby. Room 13 was indeed on the second floor facing outwards towards the street. A few quick knocks and she heard the jack she was here for.

"It's not even noontime," Hiccup shouted "Go away."

"No can do idiot, Gobber wants to know what you came up with."

The door swung open revealing a disheveled and very tired looking Hiccup.

"The wife did it." Hiccup stated.

"And you know this how?"

Astrid prepared herself for whatever convoluted answer Hiccup was gonna give her. He was a smartass like that.

"Simple," Hiccup paused "She told me."

* * *

It was 2 in the morning when Hiccup got the text. _Meet at the corner of 5th and main by the park ~ Vanderburg._ To say that Hiccup was surprised would be an understatement. _What in the hell can this be?_ he thought.

His second thought was that this was a trap of a sorts, but honestly he couldn't care less. His curiosity was that happens he'll throw caution and reason to the wind.

So Hiccup responded with a short _On my way_ and started the long walk there.

The walk itself took around half an hour and by the time he saw her he'd already gone through every possibility.

"Is this some sort of confession?" was the first thing he asked her.

"Yes," Mrs. Vanderburg answered "Of a sorts."

"Then shoot." she laughed at that.

"That's ironic." The pistol she had behind her back was shown and Hiccup frowned.

"You really did kill your husband."

"Indirectly, I loved Donny." she paused before lowering the gun and saying "I need you to find them Haddock."

Hiccup flinched at that. "What did you just call me?"

"I know who you are and I know what Stoick made you into," she continued on "Find the bastard and make him scream."

"We're done here." Hiccup turned away before she said something that he'll swear to god nearly made him puke.

"He's the one that killed your mother! You can't let him get away with it."

"Name, I need a name." Hiccup didn't turn around.

"I don't have one, I'm sorry."

"Wait," Hiccup's mind paused as something didn't make sense "Why did you bring th-"

That's when she pulled the trigger.

* * *

 **I rushed the absolute shit out of this. Still think it came out alright. Let me know what you think. See ya'll next time.**


	3. Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Lies We Tell Ourselves**

" _If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."_

― _Mark_ _Twain_

* * *

There was a semblance of trust when a parent has their child walk to the bus to go to school. The trust is that the kid in question would actually walk there and not go wherever the hell they feel they want to go. Truant officers were a joke for Hiccup to evade.

The only problem Hiccup had was where he'd go after he'd skip school. He could A) go back home and risk seeing his Dad or B) see if Gobber is doing anything.

Personally, he liked option B better.

Gobber's house was only a stone's throw away from the bus stop so it didn't take long before Hiccup found himself in front of an old oak door with the sign _Trespassers will be_ _offered a_ _shot._ Hiccup smiled at the familiarity of it all.

His hand, however, hovered above the door in hesitation. Whatever made him hesitate was lost to him as a voice piped up from behind him.

"Aren't you supposed to be in school lad?" Gobber's voice was very distinct with its Scottish accent.

Hiccup spun around in surprise. "It's a religious holiday today, no school."

Gobber raised an eyebrow in disbelief "What's the name?".

"Rosh Hashanah," Hiccup said with as a straight of a face as possible.

"Is that so?" Gobber knows how to see a lie, Hiccup knew, "That's next week, the 22nd."

Gobber spoke before Hiccup could respond. "Does your father know?"

"I'd be over his knee if he knew."

Gobber walked passed him, opened the door and walked in. He looked back at Hiccup and said: "Well come on then."

* * *

"Tell me the truth Hiccup," Gobber said still looking at her body.

Hiccup had a bitter taste in his mouth. "I did."

That made him face Hiccup. "I've always known when you lied Hiccup."

 _I got better_ Hiccup thought. "There's no reason for me to lie to you."

"Why would she call _you_ though?" Astrid's voice cuts in.

"No clue." Another lie, Hiccup's starting to feel like shit. Honesty is like respect, Stoick told him once, if you want it you have to give it.

"Why didn't you call me Hiccup?" Gobber exclaimed. "Right after calling 911 did you not call me!?"

"I'm sorry, alright?" Hiccup didn't need to lie about this part though "I was tired and strung out as hell, okay?"

He didn't really want to look at Gobber anymore so he looked at Astrid who, surprisingly, was giving a sort-of sympathetic look. A look of understanding.

She saw his gaze and gave him a half-smile. Then proceeded to talk to the officer who was first on the scene.

Hiccup felt a tug on his arm as Gobber pulled him over to the side. "Don't bullshit me here," he whispered, "I know you."

"I'm not."

Gobber stared at him for a moment before saying "You owe me for this."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like I said I _know_ you, you're gonna run away and hide now that everything's over."

He was wrong. Hiccup wasn't going to run away now that everything is over, it's because everything is kicking off that Hiccup wants to run away.

"I don't 'run away'. I just _go_ away."

"Well don't," Hiccup gave him a look, "If I'm to cover for you then you need to stay put."

Hiccup sighed and said, "What the hell would I do here anyway?"

"Consult," Gobber responded instantly "Maybe even start up a private thing if you get bored."

"Stoick's thing eh?" Hiccup knew Stoick had started going private. He also knew that Stoick abandoned it.

"I bought the place from him, you know?" Gobber confided "Left the signup and everything."

"Why would you do that?"

"For the day you'd come back and take his place."

Hiccup thought for a moment. If there was one person in this world that he loves it'd be Gobber. Besides, he _owes_ him.

"How long?"

"A year at the minimum."

"Would I have to speak to him?"

"Not unless you want to."

"Okay then." They shook on it as well.

"I need someone to help me get settled in there. I mean, I might actually have to live in there for awhile."

Gobber laughed and said, "I got an idea!" Before yelling "Astrid! Come over here!"

Hiccup got a laugh out of that, though it looked as if the joke was lost on Astrid.

* * *

Astrid didn't necessarily hate Hiccup, she just doesn't like being his personal goddam chauffeur. This was the third time she had to drive him somewhere in her car and he hasn't even the decency to have said thank you yet.

"You know you could say thank you." She rudely voiced her thoughts, Astrid knew she was being rude but honestly the time for manners was over.

"Thanks for driving me around." Hiccup didn't look at her.

"Where are we going?" Astrid quickly added, "What's on the 5th of Elmond road?"

"Gobber has something for me." he cryptically said.

"And that's supposed to mean something?"

"You'll see."

5th of Elmond contained multiple offices one of which was where Gobber had kept the lease on Stoick's. He was giving it to Hiccup.

"I'm not coming in if that's what you're thinking," Astrid told him as soon as they pulled up.

"Why? You don't want to know what the surprise is?"

"Just tell me, or else no more free rides." That was a scary ultimatum.

"I'm going to start doing private consulting, primarily in the detective field."

"Captain wants you to stick around eh?"

"Yeah well, he's like family," Hiccup tried his best to be convincing "you don't run away from family."

Astrid didn't respond and Hiccup figured that was the end of the conversation.

In all honesty, Hiccup didn't know what to make of Astrid. She clearly disliked him, probably because everyone dislikes him.

With the exception of Gobber, of course.

The office building was a pre-war, exposed brick building. It had a stoop in the front with a door that needed re-painting.

It looked old, something Stoick must've loved.

"Thanks for the ride," Hiccup turned to Astrid.

"My Captain required me to drive you."

"Yeah, sorry I didn't-"

"I don't care," Astrid unlocked the car, "get out."

Hiccup did as she demanded. Looking at the back of her car as she sped away. It was abundantly clear that she didn't like him.

Without knocking Hiccup used the key that Gobber gave him, entering the old building.

"Oi," a shrill voice cried out, making Hiccup jump back.

"Jesus," Hiccup breathed heavily out.

"Oh yeah? What's he got to do with you entering my fucking home without knocking?"

Hiccup got a good look at the women, she was old with grey hair. He saw that she had a hunch back with a cane to keep herself standing.

"Gobber gave me a key," Hiccup said before adding, "you know a Gobber?"

"Yeah I know Gobber you fucking-" the women stopped herself, "Oh, you're Haddock's boy."

Hiccup had a sour taste in his mouth now, "I don't go by that-"

The women continued ignoring him, "So you want the office?"

"I mean," Hiccup showed her the key, "I have a key for it, don't I?"

The women laughed at that, "I like smart asses, the name's Gothi."

"That's a weird-"

"You're named fucking Hiccup," Gothi interrupted.

"Fair play."

"Your office is on the second floor," Gothi pointed her finger to the staircase.

Hiccup went up and looked at his office door, it was a fog glass door with the words _Haddock Detective Agency_ on it.

Ignoring that inconvenience Hiccup pushed open the door. Inside was a desk with an old leather chair. The room was on the smaller side when Hiccup turned on the lights it made the room filled with a warm glow.

It was comforting, in a weird way.

When Hiccup around the desk to sit down only to see a black cat in it. The cat looked at him with a dismissive look, if cats could give dismissive looks this would be that.

"Gothi?" Called out only to look back and see her in the doorway.

"It's a stray that likes Mr. Haddock's old office," Gothi looked at Hiccup with a gleam, "It's called toothless."

The cat meowed at its name, showing off that it did indeed have teeth.

"It has teeth," Hiccup said dumbly.

"Yeah, and you don't hiccup," with that she turned away and went back downstairs.

Hiccup and the cat looked at each other.

"You're in my seat."

* * *

 _To be continued._


	4. Narcotics

**Narcotics**

" _Too weird to live, too rare to die!"_

― _Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S Thompson_

* * *

Hiccup hated having to ask to go to the bathroom, he was twelve for god sakes. Announcing to the whole class that you need to go number two was ridiculous and embarrassing.

Hiccup's middle school was awful, the teachers were rude and his fellow classmates were no better than degenerates.

He pushed open the bathroom door only to see a group of boys crowded around the window.

One of the dumber boys asked, "Why're you here?"

Hiccup shook his head at that, "To use the bathroom?"

The boy, whose name Hiccup wished he could forget, glared at him. His stupid nose flaring up.

"You think you're funny?"

"Not haha funny but more like," Hiccup paused losing the end of that quip, "look I'm just gonna use the toilet."

As he moved towards the stall Hiccup was grabbed and pushed against the wall. The dullard put his face in Hiccup's, his breath smelling like the lovely side of cheese left in a parking lot for three days.

"I know you like to talk," Hiccup knew what he meant.

"What can I say," Hiccup struggled to breathe through the imbecile's horrific breath. "I like the sound of my voice."

That earned him a punch to the gut. Hiccup tended to talk when he was nervous.

"No, but seriously," Hiccup coughed as he struggled to get his words out. "I really need to _go_."

If Hiccup had arms he would've fought back but he wasn't stupid. _Why fight someone trying to provoke me?_ Hiccup thought.

"Go shit then." thick-skulled individuals such as this specimen never spoke in an interesting way.

Hiccup looked back at the group of boys before he entered the stall, seeing what they were doing. Three of the bigger kids were surrounding a smaller one, he looked like a freshman. This smaller kid was pale, with wide sunken eyes as he looked towards Hiccup. Between them, all was a needle.

 _Ok,_ Hiccup thought.

He straightened his back, breathed through his nose and out his mouth.

 _I get it._

Hiccup turned back around at the group and charged.

* * *

"Ruff," Astrid pinched her nose in annoyance. "I'm not in Traffic."

Officer Thorston had a tendency to do that to Astrid, in all honesty, most people do that to her. She was, however, her only real friend.

"I'm not talking about the car crash," Ruffnut waved at the car with a cracked engine block lodged in a telephone pole. "Look."

Moving towards the trunk of the car Ruffnut look at Astrid with a weirdly happy gleam in her eyes. This sort of look was something that Astrid had come to dread.

"Don't tell me there's a dead dude in there," Astrid pointed to the trunk.

"Nah," she responded. "Better."

Ruff, being the good cop that she was, opened the trunk with gloved hands as to not to disturb it for the forensic team. The car was on the older side meaning that the trunk had a separate locking mechanism to it. The crash, however, left the trunk's lock busted. This meant easy access for the BPD.

Inside was a big trunk with a small red dragon engraved upon the front.

"I didn't know it was my birthday," Astrid looked at Ruff and smiled.

"I know!" Ruffnut exploded with excitement.

Astrid was as excited but contained it, the dragons have been one of the more elusive gangs of Berk. This was there first big break in months.

"It gets even better though," Ruff unlatched the trunk, exposing the packs of white powder within.

Astrid smiled at it.

* * *

A week had passed since Hiccup had moved into Stoick's old office. Gobber had brought a cot that now resided in the back corner of the office as not to alarm clients.

If you could get a client.

The cat, whom he still refused to give the satisfaction of being called by its name, and he had come to an armistice. The cat would stay off of his chair so long as he gave it cooked salmon.

For now, the cat laid on Hiccup's desk, lounging like a king.

Hiccup, on the other hand, was pacing the room. When not dealing with the cat he had been going over what Mrs. Vanderburg had told him. Especially concerning his mother.

 _Him, she used the word him._ Hiccup thought it through, _also how did she know who I am?_

None of the answers Hiccup thought about were good.

The cat tilted its head at Hiccup.

"What?" Hiccup stopped and glared at him. "You have any ideas?"

It meowed its advice.

"Yeah I know," Hiccup thought over the cat's meow. "I'm talking to a cat."

Another mystery to Hiccup was his housemate Gothi. Why did Stoick let her live here? All she did was sit and watch daytime television.

As if reading his thoughts the cat hissed at him.

"Oh yeah really?" Hiccup looked at it in mocked surprise. Before leaving the office he deadpanned "I'm more of a dog person anyway."

Before the cat could get another meow in Hiccup shut the door on it.

Downstairs Gothi was keeping up with the Kardashians. Hiccup tried to ignore the eighty-year-old lady unironically watching reality television as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Do I have any mail?" Hiccup asked Gothi.

"I'm not your fucking secretary," her eyes didn't leave the television.

"Then what are you?" That made her look at him, "I mean why did Stoick let you live here?"

"Your father didn't _let_ me live here," Gothi looked really ticked off. "I let him work from here."

Hiccup didn't say anything to that, he didn't know what to say. He didn't feel good about what he said.

Hiccup had to go out anyway. He made a list of all the businesses that the Vanderburg's had under their umbrella. The entire week had him going to various stores and merchants trying to figure out exactly what happened to the couple.

Each locale was clean, each providing what they said they were. The end of his list, however, is where things could get interesting.

The Vanderburgs had a majority stake in a local shipping company. One of those companies that can handle the intricacies of Berk's complex road structure for larger companies like FedEx and UPS.

Hiccup had a sinking feeling in his gut, nothing good could come if some bad people were using a shipping company for their nefarious deeds.

* * *

Astrid had a protective instinct over her desk. The one thing she felt was her personal area in the precinct was that of her desk. Nothing more in this world was more important to Astrid than keeping her personal areas free of jackasses.

And seeing Snotlout sitting on it was pissing her off.

"You mind telling me why I wasn't told of the bust today?" Snotlout jeered at her.

"You mind getting your fat ass off my desk?"

"Oh," smirked Snot lost as he slid off the desk. "So you do notice my ass."

"Look Snot," Astrid ignored him. "Tuff was the first officer on the scene and Ruff knew that I had an active case involving Dragon activity."

"If they're dealing smack then they fall under my jurisdiction."

"That's not what jurisdiction means you, idiot."

"I'm Vice though," Snotlout looked genuinely confused.

"Look," Astrid pinched the bridge of her nose. "Talk to the captain if you're that mad. I don't have time for this."

The reason Astrid came back to the 44 was to see Fishlegs. She needed to know what she was dealing with.

Fishlegs' lab was down in the basement with the rest of forensics. He was somebody that Astrid could easily pressure in analyzing some evidence.

"Oh," Fishlegs said nervously as Astrid approached him. "Look I've already had evidence from Traffic that I really have-"

"We both know you can do better than traffic."

"-to get done or the captain will reprimand me and you know I'm not good with reprimands."

"But Fish," Astrid pouted her lips in mock annoyance as she held up an evidence bag filled with the substance from the Dragons. "I know you have a coke problem."

Fishlegs nervously sighed, "I'm more keen to Pepsi."

Fishlegs grabbed the bag so that he can analyze the substance.

"So why are you getting me reprimanded for?"

"I want to know what the Dragons are dealing if it's pure or mixed."

Fishlegs used tweezers to move a few grains under his electric microscope.

"I won't be able to tell you that exactly right now but," he shifted in his seat as he looked at the substance under the microscope. "This definitely doesn't look like cocaine."

That confused Astrid, the white powder stuck her and Ruff as coke.

"Then what is it?"

"Well I can't say for certain until I can finish some test," Fish turned to her. "But it looks more like bath salts."

* * *

 _To Be Continued._


End file.
